Sunday, July 31, 2011

Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending

Feeling helpless

Something I wanted to expressed but couldn't
Adopted from my brother's blog :

2 April 2011

I was tired, really tired. I stood by his side all along, but things didn’t get much better. I would never ever expect him to leave us so soon, forever. Should I or should I not. B.I.T graduation night was what I’ve been anticipating for weeks, and was one thing I can escape from that cruel reality. If anyone is going to ask me if I regretted going, yes I regretted. There’s no way I can forgive myself for not staying by his side through the last lap of his journey.

Graduation Night ended with a blast, at least everything went smoothly and well, in fact it got me so happy for a moment that I didn’t realised there was a dying patient in need of my utmost care and accompaniment. We went for desserts after the night, should I kill myself?

Took a taxi back to SGH and something strucked me hard in the head. Maybe I was feeling lethargic, but nervousness took over my body and something tells me I need to rush back as soon as possible.

3 April 2011

It was around 1.30 a.m. I reached the hospital. My heavy heart and wear-out body, I feel like I’m breaking down. I opened the door, to see dad on his bed with difficulties breathing. Everyone else were crying. I walked in slowly. “What happened?” was the first thing I asked. No one replied. Though he had been in this condition for quite awhile, everyone felt that today was rather abnormal. It seems as though I’ve used up my tears, I can’t cry anymore. The one thing that keep going in my mind was, “Why is he suffering so much? I wish I was the one suffering instead! Begging everything that creates miracle to help father!”.

Mum: , 丰声来了

Father turned around, looked me in the eyes and seems like he knows I’m here. He nodded, with spasms from his breathing problem.

It’s because we’re so close, we always knew what each other was thinking. I know he had many things to say to me, but he can’t speak properly, not with his lungs that can’t even function well anymore.

For an hour or so, it’s as though we all know he’s leaving soon, which I’m still not taking it down. The whole family grabbed his hand bidding him farewell, telling him we will stay strong and most importantly is that we kept telling him everything’s going to be fine. It was around 2-3 that he was clearly not conscious anymore. He just kept making sounds and fidgeting.

It was after a long struggle that each of us decided to take a rest. My mum was already at her limits, after not sleeping for days, she needs to shut her eyes for a minute. My two sisters and I went out and took a quick nap. We all thought daddy should be fine because he’s been figeting for days while sleeping.

The nap was kinda good, I don’t know why, I knew I slept. I sensed someone touching me, it was my mum. She asked all of us to go back into the ward. I thought it was some emergency, again. This time round, my heart beat so fast, it’s going to jump out at any moment. We went in quietly.

Mum: He has passed away.

My mind went completely blank. He’s still breathing, but so weak it’s like the rhythm’s going stop anytime. We all knew, it’s useless to call the doctor. Then, everyone started crying. I couldn’t cry for a second. I just didn’t want to accept this fact, nothing (feelings or emotions) I can make out within that airspace of time. It’s like the World blackout. I paced slowly to his side, I touched his forehead like how I always do, I looked at this expressionless face, I said “Bye爸爸”. Tears started flowing out. My heart, tore into pieces.

He’s gone, really gone. The father raised me, took care of me and guided me is gone for eternity.


I'm feeling so stressed and unstable now because of many many occurrences. I know everyone has their own personal problems but I can't figure why of so many things, mine is the worst-ever issue. I rather to be troubled by not studying and prepared for test; having BGR troubles; upset with daddy & mommy for some childish reasons; quarrel with siblings & many other family matters you can name.
I still can't get used living without daddy.(you can say that time will cure, but I can tell you it DOESN'T)

It's like something is missing in your house and you want to find it but can't because it is gone forever.
It's like going for a family dinner but instead of requesting 'table for 5!', now we are sitting at table for 4.
It's like visiting the bank and instead of saying "I want to open an account", I have to say "I want to closed my dad's account"
It's like hearing moans and cries in toilet whenever one of us bathe.
It's like there is a knife piercing through my heart when I open daddy's wardrobe and saw his clothes.

Now, whenever I have 2 or 3hours break during school, I would rush back home and accompany my mom (she'll feels lonely) & lie to her that 'My friends all went home so I went home too lorh'. 24 hrs a day is too long for us because every minute and second, we will be missing him. And we will continue doing so until the day we die. Somtimes, or even now, I wonder if I end my life earlier, will I get to see him sooner? I feel pointless staying without him because everything has gone so wrong. We are struggling with our lives but who cares? Cus we don't have anyone to rely on, we always rely on daddy.

Daddy has always been the breadwinner of our family and he does everything himself. It was until when he's gone then I realised he has been under so much stress - bank loans, financial loans, expenses, charges. I didn't even know that we're in financial crisis and yet I still spend like nobody's business. I was also kept in dark about him suffering like hell when he knows about his cancer relapse. But what I can say is that my daddy is really a strong and responsible person that I've ever seen. Despite fighting his cancer for five years, he still remains cheerful just to keep us from worrying. During the days when he was in ICU, when he couldn't talk, he wrote to us instead. Because we kept crying, he even comfort us saying he'll be fine.

Why is life being so unfair to us..? What's the meaning of living when we don't feel any happiness in our future?