To a new beginning; abandoning the bad memories

2011 has been a toturing and tough year for me, sometimes I even wonder if I would survive this year. Well, as it is seems I have managed to pull through living a life without my father. Yes, without. How tough can it be? Some might be wondering ...

Last family potrait on my Dad's Birthday in 2010.

On the 3rd of April 2011, he left us on 7.00am smiling happily. He must be so glad to be somewhere he'll liked to go to. Nobody knows where it is and how it looks like, but I'm sure he will NEVER forget us. He sure is a great father anyone would love to have.

There are definitely regrets in my whole life - for not treating him better, not listening to him, not sharing his burdens, being a wilful kid and disappoint him at times. How I wish I can at least say 'sorry' to him.

Finally, this year has dragged to an end. There're still so many years to live on, and still counting. Will life be more interesting? or more strenuous?

I would like myself to find some space and time to figure what I actually want to do/be in the future. I see no point moving one step at a time. By then, I hope I've become more confident and pursue for whatever I'll want to do.

Still, 2011 still feel 'exist' to me because of the lovely friends around me. They never fail to make me feel warmth and loved.

So what are my 2012 wishes?

• Take good care of my family
• Earn and save lots of money
• Get into a good local university
• Discover my passion & future
• Stay healthy and fit
• My skin condition to be better

There are still more but I can't think of any at this moment ...

What are your new year's resolutions? :)

Hope they come true ~ ^^

P.S I'll be updating my blog more frequently (If I have more spare time) so, STAY TUNED! :D

Everything has gone so wrong

It wasn't getting any better. Everything is so screwed up and it remains the same. My heart aches, my eyes swell, my head hurts and my life sucks.

Down times & bad days

A little encouragement and comfort makes me feel cherished and loved. Although I'm still feeling down, these friends cheered me up.

YanCi "Tell you what, join me for the class every tue, I'm sure it'll be somewhat helpful for you, after attending for sometime! You'll feel better after attending every week and things bothering you will somehow seems less significant. Whenever, wherever <3 "

YouMing "Stay strong <3 if you need a listening ear, can sms or call me(: Just cry. You'll be better after that. You'll feel better eventually, things will turn out fine, you'll survive! You'll be okay, I have faith in you, you can win this fight. Take care of yourself and your family too!"

YingQi "Hey dear! It's been quite sometime we talked! While I guess you are busy like a bumble bee! But let's just hang in there and smile! Cos it will be just all be much better :) Make sure you, your mum and siblings are safe and fine all the while! Take good care of them and yourself <3 Most importantly, remember to always stay strong and happy cos I'm always beside you!!"

Valerie "Work is going to be a really precious opportunity, just think that you can learn so much and gain a lot more exposure on dealing w people, situations, problems, tasks... etcetc. Then you will keep going and work in a happier mode :)"

Really appreciate to have them as my true friends ... thank you so much. I'll continue to fight on.

When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on

Appearing to be strong on the surface, telling everyone "I'M ALRIGHT :D". Faking to smile all day. Behaving like I don't mind everyone's action. It was tough. Really, I feel like I'm suffocating and I have enough. From now on, I have decided to close the door in my heart. Please ... don't put me on the spot, by helping me to stay away from me. I would want to be alone. Teardrops will never dry up and I don't wish to spread them to you.

I will always remember how he left us, the scene that will retain in my memory for years. He did not bid us farewell, just saying "they're here". He smiled and grabbed our hands & lost his conscious minutes later. The months & days that we have been rushing through & fro from home to hosp. The kind of strength & determination that I can't believe I actually had because all I think of was wanting to accompany him till he recovers, which is otherwise. The times when he was in hosp & keep asking us if we were afraid, and giving us the look that he was at his wits end. When we were doing nothing but crying for help as his heart beat was hike up to 180bpm (a normal human heart rate is around 70bpm) As well as the last image of him when he was lying at the coffin. All these were bad yet only memories left with him.

FUCK.

The second week of work is starting to get a little bored because I've learnt most of the things in the first week. Most of the time I would be reading newspaper or answering phone calls. Around 10 more weeks to go!

If only I lived an ordinary life like them ...

I love liquor chocolates!

Snacks available @workplace (How to go on diet?)

Hot chocolate ~

BK Double Shot breakfast (Y)

Snapshot at work (:

Sometimes memories are better forgotten. Sometimes they’re not, but over time you seem to lose them. But sometimes, even though some memories are too hard to even bear, you want to hold on to the BAD and the GOOD memories. cause in the end, you realize there was a reason for all that misery, that it resulted in happiness.

No longer the same

Happy Birthday to my beloved Daddy!

My Daddy's last birthday cake

It happened so fast that we didn't cherish the last moments together...

I shall give a brief update on my internship.

Working at City Development Ltd is great! I was posted to the Sales/Marketing Dept and to be more precise, I'm working under the sales division. In the beginning, I was rather upset about my job scope because it requires me to travel from place to place, to different show flats. I thought I would be stationed at the HQ office doing some admin job. However, after three days of working, I totally love my job! I was able to see a greater picture of the whole company and pushing sales was unexpectedly fun! I was also able to visit to high-end condominiums (my daddy ♥ condos, so I'm aiming to buy condo in the future!) such as One Shenton & Cliveden. My supervisors and colleagues are also very nice and friendly to me. I believe my dad has been blessing and watching over me. I hope to continue such positive experience and attitude in work. Fighting! :)

Exam results are out today! I received the TP message at 11.11am SHARP (good sign?)

I was so happy with my results!

TO DADDY,

I DID IT & I HOPE I'VE MADE YOU PROUD.

I'LL CONTINUE TO WORK HARDER FOR MY LAST SEMESTER & AIM TO FURTHER MY STUDIES AT LOCAL UNIVERSITY. ALTHOUGH I COULDN'T PRESENT TO YOU MY GRADES PERSONALLY, I KNOW YOU'RE UP THERE LOOKING AT ME & SMILING WIDELY. I'VE ALSO BEEN A GOOD GIRL BY SPENDING VERY LITTLE; DOING HOUSE CHORES; CONTROLLING MY TEMPER; PUTTING EXTRA CARE FOR FAMILY; GOING OUT LESS OFTEN. I THINK YOU CAN SEE IT YOURSELF THOUGH. I'LL DO MUCH BETTER AND MAKE YOU EVEN MORE PROUD OF ME. JUST WANT TO WISH YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN... AND I MISS YOU A LOT.

WITH LOVE, YUNJEN(小女儿).

Some pictures of Cliveden @ Grange:

It looks so magnificent!

Cylinder/Circular -shaped Condo, specifically designed showroom unit

I just love the bedroom!

Camwhoring while waiting for clients! ^^

Every moment is an experience

Yes, I'm posted to City Developments Ltd ! In the beginning when I knew about this company, I was fretting over what kind of company is this because it seems to be some construction company. It is located in town- Raffles Place, which means that I need not travel for long hours to work everyday! The pay is rather low maybe due to the current economy but the worst thing is that I'll be having my internship ALONE. There isn't any other tp interns going to work with me .... :( So I guess I'll be some lonely shit there, working and eating alone? Regardless, I'll try to stay positive & make friends there. (hope daddy blessed me with good & nice colleagues!)

I Google-d and search for some info about this company. It is actually a real estate development organisation, as well as hotel ownership and management and facilities management. It has a long history, starting since 1963. So below is the organisation chart of CDL:

This is their headquarter building. I'll most likely be working here.

Honestly, I wasn't looking forward to SIP or rather, feeling nervous>excited. 3 months of SIP isn't long but still around a quarter of year. Let's hope everyone enjoys their attachment and do their best!

There's another Volkswagen showroom again yesterday. But it was so much different from the first one that I've worked at. In terms of ... the crowd. Yesterday was (how should I put it) tiring not because of overworked but tired of waiting for the time to pass! The showroom was considered a failure (to me) because there's a lack of advertising and promoting on launching the new car. They insist that it was because of the poor economy and the car is too expensive. But anyway despite the pathetic number of visitors, we still carry out our task well! Besides the fact that we kept eating the snacks that are intended for the customers hehe ^^

Camwhore w Pris again (I'm wearing her fake specs!)

Group photo after work.

Days after days ...

everyone owns a smartphone (iphone/bb/samsung) now.

I couldn't afford it because now we need to use our remaining wisely.

My dearest sister is even thinking of dropping out of uni because of money.

When my friend's dad sent me home, I always remember the days my dad always came to fetch me home when I was working till late midnight or sending me to school.

I feel terrible because it seems to be everyone having a loving father except me.

If my dad was still around, I'm sure I'll be the same as others.

Why am I so different from others?

When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile

meet my YURI!♥

I shall update about what has happened for my past few days..

Exams officially ended on 2nd Sept, Friday. The last paper (event management) was a killer to me. I wasn't really prepared for such tough paper. Well, only myself to be blamed. But the Managerial Accounting paper was a breeze! Everyone could do it without cracking their brains.. so I guess there'll be moderation? Shall not set too high hopes for myself.

After our last paper, we finally decided to go for our long awaited YUM CHA BUFFET. We have been talking about it for so long (around proj period?) and food has been our top priority topic! And yes, we waited and waited and waited till 3pm before we start our scrumptious feast. The dim sum there were absolutely delectable. We never fail to enjoy our every bite with some exceptions. I guess my favourites were xiaolongbao, pan-fried dumplings, egg tarts, chives dumplings and carrot cake. You should try them if you're there and you're a chives-lover! And of course we ordered more than what we could eat cus it's a buffet!! Thus, we started playing the guessing the password? (zhongjimima) I lost twice and have to gorge down additional egg tart & mango prawn fritters :(

Photos Credit: Priscilla @auntyfong

While waiting for the buffet to start.

We ordered a lot more than these..

Footing the bill!

There were actually more appealing food photos but they were locked inside shir lyn's camera. Yes, she didn't upload the photos! Oh well, post them next time then. After the buffet, we went to play pool with bloated tummy. It has been a few years since I last played. And I was a terrible player booohoooo.

Bris, the professional player in action!

Camwhoring with Pris cus we're too lousy :O

So basically I've started my one week plus break before the start of my SIP. I still yet to receive any phone calls for interview. WHY. I really hope I got into some good company with higher pay & friendly colleagues & good boss & near to my house & ... PLEASE!

Anyway recently I've been going out so often and spent too much. So I guess I'll save my earnings from SIP to pay for my own expenses and necessities like my bus fare. No more shopping I hope.

Exam results are releasing on 16 sept! Why on this day?

♥