Sometimes you win; sometimes you learn.

These will be precious memories if you learn from your mistakes.

Somehow, this semester in school feels so special. It may be because it is my last semester, but I could feel that I have change at least a little. I still do feel bad for throwing temper at my project mates sometimes. But I came to understand the meaning of teamwork, as everyone work together and build on their weaknesses and make use of their strengths. Cooperation and communication would make the team stronger. 

Taking our Marketing Group Project for instance, we discussed, work on each others strengths and finally all the hardwork and teamwork came to fruition. This wasn't easy, but we made it :) Good job guys!

One of the top three out of the six groups (:

Anyway, job searching hasn't been very smooth. I have only been to one interview so far and despite positive feedback from the interviewers, I have yet to receive any follow-ups from them. This got me worried. Nonetheless, I am also in a dilemma because this is not my 'dream' job. I don't really know if I would enjoy working in this company if I got in because this wasn't in my top priority list and area of interest. I hope that my dream companies would really reply my job application soon ):

Albeit, school work is burdensome and tiring. Countdown to 2 more months to unofficially graduate from university life. Peekaboo, to a selfie which I haven't taken in a long while! Oh, by the way my skin has gotten better ever since I started my roaccutane medication regime. It is costly but I hope it really works well for my sister and me. #clearandgoodskinplease

Every Cloud Has A Silver Lining

How true?

Well, I learned something new today (see above). Will it be happening to me, I'm not sure. I am still in the midst of dark cloud, fiddling around and finding my way out. But I have slowly began to understand life better. Learn to appreciate everything you have, and you will see the other side of the coin. Not all the time, I must say. There is this temperamental feature in me. My mood gets up&down pretty much easily. It gets worsened recently. Everything happens for a reason - learn to handle it. 

LEARN is the key. Be patient, and you will see the results. 

Lastly, to end the day with this: 

Hugs<3 p="">

More than just pain.

Everything in life is temporary. So if things are going good, enjoy it because it won't last forever. And if things are going bad, don't worry. It can't last forever either.

I'm back using this blog because I think this is the only platform where I can pen down my actual thoughts and the people around me wouldn't have a chance to see it (unlike Facebook, Twitter & Dayre). I believe the current social media we are all using has really change the way we view things, and how people view us. We only want others to see the good side of us, and we rarely post the downsides. Seemingly, it is the nature of human as our self-esteem only rises when we see ourselves better than the others. Instagram is the perfect example of the social media users posting artsy, inspired and pretty photos. You tend to envy people who posts really nice photos because you thought that they are enjoying their life hell lot.

I do admit, I am jealous and envy of almost everyone. Every single time I served the net, I would wonder why these people can do the things they like and achieve their goals easily -note: I put easily in italics because that was what I see on the surface, people do not post the tough times they been through to achieve their dreams. I always thought to myself, why are they able to go for overseas exchange just because they want to, and the fact that their troubles are not about affordability, but which country they want to go to. Unlike me, being financially constraint, I couldn't afford to go on an overseas exchange because it would definitely burden my family. We have problems paying bills now, let alone an exchange which requires a lump sum of money.

I think it has become a psychological and emotional barrier for me. Although it has been 4 years, the thought that my father has left us still daunts me. My pillar of support, the one whom showered me with love and care, has gone. Life has been too tough for us these four years, and I know it will get worse. I have not been unveiling my feelings to my family because I know I can't control myself and I would burst into tears. I choose to avoid as I do not want to burden them. I'm suffering and I don't know what to do. All these stresses are building up and I can't & have no idea what to do with life. Sometimes I think that it would be better if I end my life earlier. Such thoughts really came across too frequently and I know I shouldn't be so irresponsible. I'll have to hang on and grab on to whatever I can hold.

I may not be a good person. Or a kind heart.

But I wish good karma will fall upon me.