I took a step back and look at what I've done so far to arrive at this stage:
- Getting heated easily
- Acting like a total bitch in the family (as if the world revolves around me)
- Treating my family like shit
- Throwing tantrum and temper frequently
- Always thinking of myself before others
- Self-centered asshole
- Grumbling and harping on why life is being so unfair
- Thinking that I am super smart and everyone should bow before me
- Wishing that I am not born in this world
- Hating myself for doing all of the above
I want to change; really sincerely genuinely want to change for the better. Life may be unfair, but dwelling on the unfairness doesn't change anything. What can I do to change for the better? What should I do to move on from this current state of my mind?
“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.” -Mary Engelbreit
No, I don't have depression or any mental illness (or I may have but not aware of) but I am definitely undergoing an unstable emotional struggle. I hate myself for being myself and I really don't want to be myself.
Can I evaporate and just disappear in this world?
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| Calm State |
