The only way to stay strong is to act like one.

It takes really a long tough journey for me to reach this stage.. I may not be suffering as much as others do, but it wasn't easy for me too.

I took a step back and look at what I've done so far to arrive at this stage:

1. Getting heated easily
2. Acting like a total bitch in the family (as if the world revolves around me)
3. Treating my family like shit
4. Throwing tantrum and temper frequently
5. Always thinking of myself before others
6. Self-centered asshole
7. Grumbling and harping on why life is being so unfair
8. Thinking that I am super smart and everyone should bow before me
9. Wishing that I am not born in this world
10. Hating myself for doing all of the above

I want to change; really sincerely genuinely want to change for the better. Life may be unfair, but dwelling on the unfairness doesn't change anything. What can I do to change for the better? What should I do to move on from this current state of my mind? 

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.” -Mary Engelbreit

No, I don't have depression or any mental illness (or I may have but not aware of) but I am definitely undergoing an unstable emotional struggle. I hate myself for being myself and I really don't want to be myself. 

Can I evaporate and just disappear in this world?

Calm State